Shoots-a-lot vs. Fancy-fire

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Shoots-a-lot vs. Fancy-fire

Post by hatman17 on Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:38 pm

The Guardians have pacifistic ideals... though you wouldn't know it by the games they play. The Coliseum serves as the foremost example of this. Today's game features an over-exuberant Zhuque Fong (here for the glory, bragging rights, fun, groupies, etc.) and a grudging Draco Finigeris (here because he owed Val a favor and couldn't get out of it otherwise)

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Re: Shoots-a-lot vs. Fancy-fire

Post by hatman17 on Thu Nov 06, 2014 12:43 am

"IIIINNNNN THIS CORNAH, WEIGHING IN AT SOME AMOUNT OF KILOS THAT I FIGURE IT WOULD BE IMPOLITE AND SOMEWHAT DANGEROUS TO ASK ABOUT, THE HEROINE OF THE ICE FALLS, THE LASER FIELDS, AND THE SHATTERED SKIES, VETERAN OF THE OPEN FIELD AND THE WORST SPY TO EVER DRAW WETWORK DUTY, A CROWD FAVOURITE AND WEEKLY WINNER, THE INDESTRUCTIBLE SHOOTS-A-LOT!!!"
"The first opponent is Lady Zhuque Fong, Knight and frequent Coliseum fighter. Her abilities include imperviousness to almost all external attacks, extreme strength, and a reality-shifting ability we're still studying that gives her weapons never-ending ammunition."
"Dammit Jakey, nobody comes here for science."
"LADIES I'M SINGLE AND THERE'S A BED IN MY PREP ROOM!"
Draco kneaded his brow with his fingers as the other four squabbled at the other corner of the ring. Jake, in his hologram form, was trying to convince Val to give mic controls back to the usual announcer, who was struggling to program the field between bouts of laughter. Zhuque was loudly flirting with a girl who'd caught her eye in the front row. According to her, flashing gave fighters courage.
Draco strode over to snatch the mic away from Val just as Zhuque finished convincing her. "You all know who I am, what my abilities (if they can be called that) are, and the odds the various bookies gave you concerning the match between Zhuque and I. I'd just like to emphasize that as your First Blade, this is a terrible example of my responsibilities and-"
"BLUH MCSHOOTY!" shouted Val into the mic, "He owes me a favor and I'm using it on all of you, can I get a thank you?"
The crowd cheered wildly, and Draco sighed in defeat. "I thought I was going to be "Fancy Fire" today?"
"Pffff, you would've if you'd let me finish the intros you nub," responded Val with an eye roll. Nobody cared less about rank in Hub than he did, as was apparent when he'd conned Draco into a Coliseum fight.
"Ok Val, thanks for setting this up, but I gotta get the field ready dude," said Saz the announcer, still grinning from the laughter. Val allowed himself to be pulled away from the stage by Jake, who was pretending to be corporeal and yanking on his outstretched arm. Of course, whenever Val tried to stop and protest, his hand just phased through Jake’s, but eventually they slipped through on of the gates in the field and into the VIP stands reserved for friends and trainers of the fighters.
“Aight folks, y’all know the game plan. This is a knock-out round, and both players get one favor each,” at that she turned to the two fighters. “We’re gonna observe stereotypical niceties and let ladies go first hm Firstie?”
Draco glared at her with the express message that he knew she was paid to be cheeky but disapproved of her breach in protocol nonetheless.
“Oooook, anyway, Zhuque! Your favor! And since Draco’s a guy I assume it’s not gonna be your customary one?”
“Nah Saz, toplessness would only cheapen the moment in this case. Unless you wanna volunteer?” she quipped back with a wink. The crowd roared with mock approval and Saz pretending to lift up her top before letting it fall back down. “Ok but in all seriousness, no Shards.”
Draco raised an eyebrow. “It’s to knockout, not to first blood Zhuque, what would my Shards help me?”
“Oh shush you, we both know that’s like the only thing that’ll get through me, and I KNOW you’d find a way. Fork it over,” she said, taking the war axe from her tiercel and handing it to Saz. Draco unbuckled his gun belt and handed over the revolver and stiletto.
“Aight Sir Finigeris,” Saz announced once a bot had carried away the Shards, “what’s it gonna be?”
“Am I allowed to use my favor on the environment?” When Saz nodded, he continued, “I’d like the Greyscale Field, max activity.”
Both Zhuque and Saz stared at him openmouthed. He quirked an eyebrow at them, “What? I’d like to get this over quickly.”
“Y’know what? Me too big boy,” taunted Zhuque. “Let’s get it ON!”
Saz shrugged, and inputted the commands. Immediately, massive holograms popped up on all sides of the arena, showing Draco and Zhuque in real time as they prepared. Zhuque was strapping on various heavy armaments from her tiercel, including several Uzis, two machine guns, and a modified Gatling of her own design. The rest she sent away, not wanting to overload herself in the active environment.
Draco stood calmly, already having armed himself back in his quarters. He always knew exactly what he would need. The few weapons he carried were stashed underneath his reinforced suit jacket.
“All right ladies, gents, and everybody else, who’s ready for some action!” screamed Saz to the crowd. They screamed back, and with a final good luck to them both, she jogged to her announcer’s booth in the VIP section.
“You ready ‘sir’?” asked Zhuque mischievously, stressing the honorific.
“ON THREE”
“Zhuque, I assure you, I don’t want to be here. I’m not going to rise to your taunts.”
“ONE”
“Pfff, if you’re scared just say so dude. We both know I’m undefeated.”
“TWO”
“That’s interesting Zhuque. So am I.”
“THREE!!”
At that, a loud bell clamored, and the field changed suddenly from simple wood to rapidly shifting grey squares. Both fighters were nearly jerked off their feet by the sudden movement, but instinctually regained their balance.
However, Draco did it a couple milliseconds before Zhuque, and sprinted towards a rising mass of panels and massive cubes. Before he’d taken three steps, he’d pulled out a small pistol and aimed it perfectly at Zhuque. He shot three times, square in the chest.
She was already prepared for him though, and had completely shielded herself. The bullets ricocheted off, harmlessly dropping down to the floor. Draco’s next shots were aimed at her weapons, and he shot one of her rifles in half before she spread her protective energy to all her equipment.
Draco kept running, jumping across gaps in the rapidly breaking surface of the field, and bouncing off the rising columns and floating blocks. Zhuque stayed in place and unhooked the Gatling from her back. With a manic smile she pulled the trigger and 150-gram shells shot out at twice the speed of the Terran version. Lines of fire followed Draco, splitting apart the field surfaces and causing them to shoot away. She let out a hoot of laughter when Draco’s bullets only sparked off the rapidly spinning barrels.
Which was exactly what he wanted.
Draco pulled another, larger pistol from his hip. He aimed in a slight arc and shot three times. Instead of bullets, small goblets of green liquid shot out. As they crossed between them, they grew exponentially upon contact with the oxygen in the air. When they hit the Gatling gun, they exploded viscously, spraying slimy tendrils centripetally from the spinning shafts. They splattered onto Zhuque and the field, and began to harden. The shells were designed to create an epoxy nearly as hard as concrete, which Zhuque would easily be able to break normally. However, she’d extended her shielding to her weapons, and it spread indiscriminately.
The now-unbreakable tendrils slowly stopped the Gatling gun from spinning, causing the motor to strain against itself with an awful grinding sound. Zhuque hammered at the tendrils, but they only bent slightly. With a snarl, she stopped the protective power from flowing beyond her skin, and began to tear off the slime.
Draco had been in continuous motion since his first shot, and had parkoured off several blocks to ten meters in height. Seeing that she’d cut off her protective power, Draco watched as he began to tear off the tendrils. He silently took out two small devices from a back holster and after pausing for a moment to re-calculate the field, flung them in two different directions.
One landed just as Zhuque tore off a long, sticky strip of slime and was trying to whirl it off. It was snatched out of the air, and the added mass caused the tendril to wrap around her body. Before she could as much as swear, the napalm bomb went off and ignited all the slime that had streaked over her and her weapons. Half of them exploded outright, the rest were at least partially damaged. Zhuque herself wasn’t hurt but thrown back from the force of the explosion and startled enough to lose her grip on the Gatling.
Before she could get back up to her feet, the limpet rocket had transformed itself and magnetized to the large block Draco was standing on. Then if burst forth with a small but disproportionately powerful semi-nuclear jet that pushed it forward following the path that he indicated with a small laser pointer.
The dot rested squarely on Zhuque’s forehead.
She stood up, and was immediately knocked back down by the flying block. Draco jumped and rolled safely, deftly kicking the burning Gatling to transfer his momentum. It was crushed between two more shifting panels.
Zhuque jumped up to her feet and unhooked her last weapon with a snarl. The plasma hatchet heated up instantly and started sparking out blue fire, a low setting to accommodate the rules of the Coliseum. She swung it at Draco’s head, which he ducked easily.
It was a feint, and with her left leg rose to meet him in what would have been a devastating kick had he not predicted the move. Instead, he caught the limb and pushed himself around it, flipping over and onto the floor. Once landed, he pulled her off balance and let her tumble forward.
Zhuque rolled and swung the plasma hammer wildly in an overhand blow. Draco had predicted this as well, but did something startling. He caught the hatchet.
By the burning plasma blade.
Zhuque’s eyes widened in confusion, and she tried to tear it out of his grip. He held firm though, more firmly than he should’ve been able to with her super strength.
Draco smiled and glanced pointedly at his wrist. She followed his sight to a golden bracelet inscribed with faintly glowing runes. Glowing in fact, with the same type of energy she usually covered herself with.
In dawning realization, she looked down at the leg that Draco had flipped her with. Around the ankle he’d hooked a similar cuff, though this one didn’t have any glowing energy transference.
“You complete dic-” she began, but was knocked out cold with a single punch. She crumpled to the ground and Draco shook out his hand. Transference charms gave Guardians each other’s powers, but none of the skill. He knew how to punch, and how to use her force-field like protection but not how to channel it inwards to not hurt.
The field calmed down instantly, and the crowds erupted into cheers and arguments over bets. Saz did her thing, exclaiming highlights of the fight, silently bemoaning that it had lasted all of 2 minutes, so she didn’t have much to talk to.
Jake and Val swooped in, one chattering wildly and the other preparing to calmly congratulate Draco. He listened idly while unhooking the cuffs from their respective limbs and then nodded firmly.
“Alright, while this has been good practice, I have duties to attend to. Thank you, and good day.” With that, he left the arena.
Val was speechless. “Just like that? I’ve got an entire after party planned out. I got cupcakes!”
“I don’t recall… wait, the crepes Valerian? Crepes cooked in a muffin tin are not cupcakes!”
“THE GUY SAID THEY WERE CUPCAKES!”
“HE SAID THEY WERE “GATTEAU A LA TASSE” AND HE’D JUST INVENTED THEM!”
“THEY WERE SUPER FANCY TO DRACO WOULD COME!”
“THAT STILL DOESN’T MAKE THEM PANCAKES!”
“Holy shit guys stop screaming at each other and help me up,” moaned Zhuque from the floor. Both men  did nothing. “Well? What the hell guys I was knocked out like ten seconds ago!”
“I’m busy fuming Jake you help her.”
“Valerian, I have no corporeal form.”
“Oh yeah. C’mere.”
Val gave her his hand and hauled her to her feet. “I really gotta work on pain training, that was embarrassing. Am I invited to the after party?”
“Sh’yeah dude, if you don’t mind me flaunting my winning bets.”
“Strippers? I need to soothe the pain.”
“I am offended that you would need to ask me that.”
“Ok fantastic, Draco’s straight so that means ladies yeah?”
“…Jake I need you to hire female strippers. Top quality. I will accept no substitute for perfection.”
“How the hell am I supposed to do that?! I don’t have a sexuality!”
“You’re an AS! Look it up and algorithmize it!!”
“Fuck both of you I’m just gonna hope somebody took me seriously when I said I had a bed in my prep room.”

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